more first visits

a couple of photos

Has anyone ever told you you're cute when you're mad?

Adam - stuff Part 2

How about for this one, I cover Adam's speech and language development? I could say a lot because, well, he can say a lot. My memory is fuzzy on a lot of things but here are a few things I do remember. I'm sorry dear readers, this is much like the 16-month edition when I counted up his vocabulary, just for the record, not for your entertainment. I will try to cover most social stuff (negotiating) in another post.

around 19 months (last November)
- "I hungry. Mommy, get yoghurt, please."
- can recite Jack and Jill correctly, including the lesser known "Up Jack got..." verse
- can recognise each letter of the upper-case alphabet

around 20 months (last Christmas)
- can "sing" Jingle Bells entirely, though sometimes loses his place

around 22 months
- knows his full name, age, address, and city

around 23 months
- working on if/then, when/then, cause/effect constructs, e.g., "When you press the black button, it makes the green light go on." I remember that sentence specifically because I was blown away with how long it was.

around 24 months
- At Adam's check up, the paediatrician asked if Adam is "putting two words together." Uh, yeah, you could say that. Paragraphs.
- can count to 29 (just say the words)
- usually recognises written numbers up to 29, guesses well at higher numbers

nowadays, 2 and a quarter years and other stuff I can't date
- perfecting the cause/effect constructs, especially how and why/because, often in reference to household rules. "Mommy took it away because you threw it." "Why is Naomi crying? Because she wants a hug."
- can reliably count about 4 objects, sometimes higher
- knows "which letter is for ... " dozens of people and objects
- knows the words for the days of the week but doesn't grasp their meaning
- says Cantonese words for stinky, come on, terrible, 1, 2, and 3 (others?)
- will guess at just about any question asked, rather than answer, "I don't know." I've never heard him say "I don't know."
- uses past, present, and future tenses. He's probably been doing this for a while but I never noted exactly when. Sounds a little ESL by misapplying various tenses. E.g., (on the way to the pool,) "We are going to go do some getting wet."

rehearsal
Except for a week or so while he was practising escaping his crib, Adam has for the past year (at least) babbled, chatted, and sung himself to sleep. Naptime typically ranges from 10 to 30 minutes of chatter but bedtime is rarely less than 20 minutes, usually an hour to two hours.

music
Adam rarely sings along with people or recordings. He sings by himself or lip-synchs. Don't take it personally if Adam tells you, "You (I) don't like singing/dancing." It's not a judgement of your voice or skill, clearly since he'll tell Dion to stop while I am singing. He's focussing and you're distracting him. His own singing is rarely pitched but often appropriately inflected.

idiosyncratic use of pronouns
Adam has for months and months been referring to himself in the second person, i.e., saying you/your/yours when he means I/me/my/mine. Which makes perfect sense because we call him "you" all the time. I don't remember when he started doing this because way back before Christmas, he was using "Adam" or "I" correctly. In the mean time, every now and then, he does use the first person correctly but it is always a clearly concerted effort. I try to praise it effusively but it's not sticking just yet.

testing rules and asserting himself verbally
One of the advantages of a very verbal 2 year old is that he can test rules with words rather than by breaking them - or our stuff or himself. We often have conversations like:
A: "That is soft."
me: "No, that is hard."
A: "It is not soft. You cannot throw it. You can only throw it outside. If you throw it inside, Mommy with take it away and you will not be able to have it."
One of the disadvantages is that Adam can test ten rules with words in the time that he'd be able to test two physically. Which means he hears "no" (or a euphemism for it) five times as often.

Another advantage is that we also avoid some unnecessary conflicts because he really is able to say what he likes and wants. Plus, talking is soothing for him, not frustrating for him, so talking it out is a good temper-control strategy.

Ehng. I'm all talked out.

Naomi - 3 weeks old

It goes by so much faster the second time. I can't believe how big and strong Naomi is ALREADY.

Naomi - 2 weeks old

Adam - stuff Part 1

I've been meaning to write a post about Adam and his development since his second birthday but I can think of so many things that it's just daunting. So, I'm going to break it up into chunks. I haven't even planned out what will be in each chunk. Let's start with some recent photos of things Adam likes.

An oldie but a goodie: very tall towers:
Stacking, BTW, is the purpose of markers. Adam has shown very limitted interest in drawing, colouring, or writing for several months. Not even, or especially not in finger-painting. But he frequently asks to watch me paint my nails pink or red.


A new like/compulsion: water play:
Ingredients: bottles, sifters, funnels, ladles, cups....
This is a great passtime and will keep Adam occupied for very long periods of time while I get something done. It's best at the kitchen sink because he can't reach the taps to crank up the flow rate or scald himself. When Adam came to visit us at the hospital when Naomi was born, he spent more time at the sink in my room than talking to us.


Another new like/compulsion: waving and watching as Poh-Poh and Gung-Gung walk through the parking lot to the subway station:
This is part of the separation ritual and Adam will fight a nap if he doesn't get to see them go. He needs lots of warning if he won't see them because they drove instead of taking the TTC.


Another recent like: lots and lots of STUFF in his crib:

The minimum requirements for Adam's crib decor:
- one wall-hanging sewn by my colleague, Rose Mouncey, mounted at the wall end of the crib
- the bear blanket from my curling friend, Lianne, hanging on the free end
- the quilt sewn by Rebecca and Susanna hung on the wall side
- the parachute blanket from Poh-Poh draping over the free side
- one 2-foot stuffed duck
- one stuffed white bunny
- two bottles (one water and one milk for naptime, one water and one warm water for nighttime)
- one (ha!) book
- the seal (Olga, his lovey), not shown
- two pillows. The pillows go OVER him, not under him, meaning he usually emerges from his room in a schwitz.

Most days, Adam adds recently used toys and books to this collection most times. Sometimes, he systematically moves every book in his room into the crib before sleeping. Dion, who also likes to have many pillows in the bed but only sleeps on one thin one and never throws away anything without a fight, says Adam gets this pack-rat behaviour from him. Sounds about right.

Adam's love affair with the seal has grown and grown since they were allowed to sleep together when he was 12-months old. A while before he turned two, he started having conversations with her. For a while it was always the same script. For him anyway. I don't know how or whether she answered.
"Good morning, the seal."
"How are you, the seal?"
"Did you eat breakfast, the seal?"
"Did you eat peanut butter, the seal?"

Which brings me to a couple of dislikes. If you ask Adam what he doesn't like, he'll answer:
"cheese, and eggs, and peanut butter." What two year old doesn't like cheese, eggs, or peanut butter!?

Check Ups

At 4 weeks of age, Naomi is 9 lb 12 oz. I know that there are babies born bigger than that but I'm delighted that mine have started on the small side and ramped up quickly. Naomi has gained 2.2 ounces per day over 17 days - ridiculous. No wonder we're both eating constantly. She's "allowed" to go as long as she wants between feedings but I don't know if I've ever gotten 4 hours out of her.

age	WEIGHT			HEIGHT
mos	lb,oz	%ile		in	%ile
0	7,1	34		20.0	72
1	9,12	47

At Adam's last check up in April, he was 30 lb 4 oz (75th percentile) and 38 in (> 97th percentile.)

percentiles from: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_percentiles.htm?rd=1 Naomi's percentiles don't correspond exactly to the ones I had found (at a different site) for Adam up to 12 months. E.g., her 1-month weight is an ounce more than Adam's but the percentile is 3 lower. These are probably CDC data, i.e., from mostly formula-fed children. It makes a big difference from the new WHO-recommended charts for breast-fed children.

The Daddy Magic

We hardly ever call the Snugli (baby carrier) by its rightful name. We call it the "Daddy Magic.*" It was been the secret weapon in baby soothing since Adam was a newborn. Babies go from

This*. to:

Going ...

Going ...

Gone. Usually in short order. If not, we add a second dose of Daddy Magic:

Usually Eagles or Billy Joel ballads. Unless, somewhere in the apartment, there is a toddler insisting upon hearing "Jingle Bells."

*It is called the Daddy Magic whether it is worn by Daddy or by Mommy. It got its name after its powers were discovered in several consecutive wearings of newborn Adam by Daddy.

**You might imagine how difficult these snaps were to take -one handed from behind my own shoulder. The camera cannot focus from too close.

From the archives: this is Adam in the Daddy Magic at 10 days.




God, it goes by so much faster the second time around.

Her Name

Warning: long and boring except to name nerds. :P And maybe even to them. Save this for bedtime reading.

We'd always "planned" on Margaret for a girl but never expected to use it. We really were surprised to have had a girl. How surprised? Well, Adam was the 20th consecutive boy born on Dion's side. Dion's grandfather had 12 brothers, no sisters. 2 sons, no daughters. 4 grandsons, no granddaughters. 1 great grandson, no great granddaughters. You can understand why I told the ultrasound technician not to bother continuing to look when she couldn't see all the baby's parts. The few baby girl dreams I had didn't nearly convince me that it was even possible that I was carrying a girl. Neither did Adam's saying 75% of the time that the baby was a girl. He might have been saying that I am a girl.

Still, it's a little surprising that I, of all people, was caught unprepared. Names are a thing for me. I am a regular reader of more than one baby naming blog. No kidding. There are blogs for everything. Names are such a thing for me that I was nearly disappointed that we'd found the perfect names - Jonah and Margaret - so early in my pregnancy. Indeed, Margaret was a no-brainer and had been chosen when I was pregnant with Adam.

Margaret is a family name. Our Margaret Naomi is at least the 6th generation of Paterson women to wear the name. My sister, Patricia Margaret (Peggy), was the 5th. My mother, Margaret Elizabeth, was the 4th. My grandmother, Rubina Margaret (Ruby), was the 3rd. My grandmother's aunt on her paternal side was the 2nd. My grandmother's grandmother was the 1st - of which I know. There might very well be more Margarets in the line. I believe it was this paternal grandmother of my maternal grandmother who hand-made the christening gown that Adam wore and Naomi will wear soon.

No really, I'm listening. Go on, Mom.

Moreover, Margaret in and of itself is a great name. It may be at a century-low in popularity but it is due for a comeback, IMHO. Margaret is even lovely with Lew. Few girls' names are. Many perfectly nice names are ridiculous with Lew. These would all be candidates for me: Laura, Emma, Leah, and Mary - were it not for "Laura Lew," "Emma Lew," "Leah Lew," and "MARY LEW!" Anything at all sweet fails. Longer, stronger names, like Margaret, work much better.

So done, right? No no, about a month before I was due, I had to complicate things. It felt like choosing Margaret was too easy. Where's the fun in a no-brainer? Perhaps we could choose a middle name? I thought a 2- or 3-syllable name would sound best. I floated a couple of ideas and looked them up online: Rachel, Daphne, Sarah, Fiona, and Naomi. It was just a brainstorm. Just fantasy, seeing as we didn't actually need to choose a girl's name. Dion wasn't into the game. He merely said that he wouldn't veto any of those names. Neither was he inclined to suggest any. Party pooper. I even considered submitting a query "Margaret _____ Lou" to Swistle's baby naming blog. Maybe I'd ask for a poll for Rachel, Sarah, and Naomi. But it didn't seem right to take up other people's time for a silly, unnecessary game. Oops.

Still reading? Wow. name nerd. Here's your reward: another photo of Naomi.

Yawn! Boring, Mom, boring.

Well, then she was born. Margaret Lew. Should we choose a middle name? Margaret Naomi Lew flowed better than Margaret Rachel Lew or Margaret Sarah Lew, I thought. Yes, Naomi. Dion and I both liked it best. We were set with Margaret Naomi Lew and had the hospital register that name on all her forms, including her health card.

But what were we really going to call her? Margaret seemed a really grown-up name for a baby. While Dion and the baby slept, I was thinking through the many diminutives for Margaret and none worked for me. I did want a diminutive because although my mother died almost 13 years ago, calling my baby Margaret was still just a little bit sad for me.

Peggy Lew? yuck.
Maggie? My mother hated it; so, I'm biased against it.
Greta? I like it - for someone else's kid.
Meg? I like it. Meg Lew? sounds like "igloo" or "my glue."
Most other diminutives have the Marylou problem.
Just Margaret then?
Use the just recently and hastily chosen middle name?

While I waffled and Dion slept on it, he became convinced that Margaret really was a big name for a little baby. But where Dion had invested little in the name choice and could go with his gut, I had lived with "Margaret Lew" for months. I felt a little like I was giving something up to get Naomi. I love both names but Dion fell for Naomi, which made me fall for it, too.

I cannot believe you are still going on about this, Mom.

We waited a day or so to "correct" what had already been announced as Margaret's arrival until my buyer's remorse wore off and until we had done our due diligence. By due diligence, I mean googling Naomi Lew to make sure there's no one infamous who goes by that name and my re-checking a few baby-naming resources to make sure Naomi isn't suddenly the flavour-of-the-month in baby-naming or that there was nothing else off-putting about the name.

Here were the results:

Google: A few Naomi Lews exist, but no one scandalous. Hey, we're fourth on the list already!

Nymbler: Naomi alone "inspires" Carmella, Nina, Miriam, Celeste, Eve, and several Japanese names. Margaret and Naomi together "inspire" Rachel, Sarah, Mary, Elizabeth, Ivy, Eve, and Rebecca. In the other order, Daphne and Laura also appeared. Nymbler reads my mind, apparently. If I didn't have an Adam, Eve would be a favourite, too.

Social Security Online - Popular Names: Over the 2000s, Margaret was the 134th most common girl's name in the US; Naomi was 148th.

Name Voyager: In the US, since the 1880's, Naomi peaked in popularity in the 1910's at around 720 Naomis per million babies at 134th most common, was lowest around 1960 at around 170 Naomis per million babies at 314th most common, and has since been rising steadily to 118th with around 690 Naomis per million babies in 2008. On the other hand, Margaret has been falling since being 4th in the 1910s and bottoming out around 180th last year (500 Margarets per million babies.) These have very different scales. Naomi goes from 0 to 680, Margaret from 0 to 10,400.



Behind the Name: From the Hebrew name, נָעֳמִי (Na'omiy,) meaning "pleasantness." In the Old Testament this was the name of the mother-in-law of Ruth. After the death of her husband, Naomi took the name Mara (see Ruth 1:20.) Though previously common as a Jewish name, Naomi was not typically used as an English Christian name until after the Protestant Reformation. ALSO From Japanese 直 (nao) "honest, straight" and 美 (mi) "beautiful."

Pronunciation: nay-O-mee or nie-O-mee. I like and use both unconsciously and interchangeably. Dion says nie-O-mee consistently. Adam says NIE-o-mee most of the time but throws in NAY-o-mee now and then. Pronounce it however you like. I'm sure when she's 13, she'll correct you to the pronunciation she likes.

Save the date, spread the word.

We'll be having Naomi's baptism at McLeod-Stewarton United (or whatever it's called now) in Ottawa on the Sunday of the long weekend in August (Aug. 2.) Everyone will be invited back to my Aunt Jean's house after the service. I'll try to get an approximate head-count for refreshments when we get closer to the date.

Good Growing!

At Naomi's weigh-in on Tuesday (age 11 days), she got the green light to sleep as long as she wants. Woo-hoo. No more waking her up to eat every three hours. She'd gone up to 7 lb 7 oz from 6 lb 9 oz eight days earlier. That's pretty close to two ounces per day, when we're aiming for one ounce per day.

It's amazing how wonderfully chubby she looks already. Check out the cheeks and double chin.

More Introductions and Visits for Naomi

Granddad

Uncle Roger

Aunt Leela

Uncle Ian

Aunt Edith

Poh-Poh

Aunt Edith and Poh-Poh

Big Adjustment to Big Brother

Poor Adam had a rough first week or so as a big brother. He's fascinated by Naomi and very sweet to her, though a little bit of a bull in a china shop. But his stress came out at naptime and bedtime.

We'd recovered from the new temptation to escape his room just a week or so before Naomi was born. He'd finally gone back to staying in his bed and chatting for 20 minutes to 2 hours while falling asleep. I love his night-time chats. Then for about a week after Naomi was born, naptime and bedtime became a struggle again. He simple refused to nap on several occasions, which is a big deal because he's accustomed to a 3-hour afternoon nap. Instead of chatting, he'd play for hours until he crashed or, worse, beg sobbingly for Mommy over and over again. In the photo above, he'd fallen asleep with his seal on the hardwood mid-plea.

Luckily, the sleep trouble was short-lived. He's been back to "normal" for several days and treats us over the monitor to surprisingly clear and correct renditions of his repetoire of best-loved songs, poems, and books. Today's nap came preceded by Old Macdonald and Aura Lee. Last night, there were easily half a dozen songs, including, Michael Finnegan, Auld Lang Syne, and ABCD (Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star).

Naomi's birth

I "promised" a blog entry on Naomi's birth; so, here it is. For those of you who are wary of gory details, fear not. It was a mercifully short and simple labour and delivery.

The Coles' Notes version: I started having strong contractions around 3 pm on Friday, the 19th, called the hospital and babysitters at 4pm, parked at the hospital at 5 pm, had my own OB arrive in time to deliver, had my water broken for me, pushed 7 times (maybe only 6), and had a daughter at 6:11 pm. The End.

more detail for the terribly curious
I was feeling pretty good all through my second and third trimesters. I gained a healthy amount of weight that wasn't too burdensome to drag around with my nearly six-foot frame. At my 38-week check up, there were no signs of labour starting. I had finished my report cards on Wednesday, and so, I felt like I had been on vacation by the following weekend. Then Monday night, I had such strong fetal movements and cramping that I barely slept. Same thing Wednesday night and Thursday night. I could tell things were moving along and had our bags in the car and ready to go. At my 39-week check up on Thursday, I wasn't very dilated but 80% shortened.

In other words, we could expect the baby to arrive any time. In fact, Jenn, my OB, told me not to bother scheduling an appointment for the next week. She told me to show up at the hospital on Sunday morning, when she'd be on shift and she'd help things along, if the baby hadn't made an appearance yet. Thus, we knew the baby would be born Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. So, we made our last-minute child-care arrangements, stocked the cupboards and fridge, and Dion took Friday off work. Which... thank goodness.

I had a few contractions Friday morning, but never more than 3 in a row. Then around 3:30, I realised that I'd had 4 strong contractions spaced about 10 minutes apart. We waited for just a couple of more contractions to make sure this was the real deal. With my having had a short labour for Adam and with rush hour coming, we were not going to mess around. We called in the troops to take care of Adam, called the hospital, and called Jenn.

We were very lucky with traffic considering we pulled out of our building at 4:30. We chose a good route - Gerrard to River to Bayview to Pottery/Mortimer. We got to the TEGH parking lot in 25 minutes.

Jenn had instructed maternity triage to examine me right away. I was 6.5 cm dilated and at station 0. They got me to an L&D room post-haste - "There will be no babies in triage today!" In the car, my contractions had gone to 8 minutes and by the time I was in L&D, they dropped to 5 and then 3 minutes. Luckily, Jenn had been at her office, which is just 10 minutes away. She arrived after just a few contractions and had time to change into greens for delivery. It's really great to have had Jenn deliver both babies; there's something about a trusted friend's voice that is so encouraging and reassuring.

There's not much more to the story. It was just about the least "medicalised" hospital birth there is to be had. No IV, monitor, oxygen, anything. Jenn broke my water and stretched out one stubborn section of my cervix and we were good to go. I even managed to keep some semblance of a sense of humour. At one point, Alicia, the L&D nurse, said, "after this next push, your baby will be here." I replied, "Don't make promises you can't keep." But she was right. I think it was the seventh push and the last. Then Dion cut the cord. Jenn didn't even miss out on her Friday night family dinner plans.

The surprise ending was Jenn's announcement of a girl. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was something along the lines of, "You're kidding!" We were really, really, expecting the 21st Lew boy in a row.

Happy Father's Day!

By request ...

more pics.

4 days old

5 days old

with Bak-Bak

with Poh-Poh and Gung-Gung

Margaret Naomi Lew

Margaret Naomi Lew
(going by Naomi)
born Friday, June 19, 2009, 6:11 pm
7 pounds 1 ounce, 20.0 inches

Hey, look! It's a BABY.

She's so tiny.

Hooray, I made it!

Escape!

Adam now knows that he can escape the crib. He's long been physically capable of it but has never bothered in the past. The sleep bag, which we put on him backwards so that he cannot escape it, was deterring him because he couldn't get his feet over the rail one at a time. Today, he discovered a new method and was coming out of his room as fast as we could put him back in. So, Dion and I took turns silently watching to pre-empt escape attempts. We witnessed the escape technique:

a somersault. a front flip? I'm not sure of the correct term. Are any readers familiar with the high bar or the uneven bars?

hands on the rail,
waist above the rail,
head over and below the rail,
feet launched up, over the rail, past the head, and downwards for landing

It was all we could do to contain our laughter, lest that encourage his gymnastic pursuits. I don't mind discouraging it - he's going to be way too tall to be a competitive gymnast or diver anyway.