To say that Dion was babysitting while I was out this evening is no slight to the significance of his childcare. The distinction is quantity, not quality. Whereas Dion is an occasional babysitter, I am a full-time babysitter.
Ha! I like Jesse's answer. I hope I didn't strike a nerve when I brought this up last night Karen. It's just always struck me as especially odd that folks would say "Dion is at home parenting tonight". As near as I can tell, to some extent or another, forever onward, Dion is parenting whether Adam is with him or not (you were parenting last night but letting him and dad have some time alone while setting the example that moms can go out and play some kick butt ultimate). I feel like babysitting is not a 'job title' but a task. Somebody needs to stay home and watch the kiddies. Just like, somebody needs to do the laundry, cook the meals, and earn a living. Since all of these tasks are shared among couples in the modern age, I think the connotation is changing, so that the word doesn't have to.
Does that make sense?
P.S. - I would also use words like Jesse use, myself. I just don't think I'd object to someone else calling it 'babysitting'.
Rebecca, you did strike a nerve. I definitely feel insulted to be called a full-time babysitter. Just as I would be unsurprised to find you insulted if I called you my "acquaintance". Of course, we are "acquainted". And I do "sit with the baby". But it is insulting to my relationship with you that I say that we are acquainted. It is insulting to my relationship with Adam that you say I "babysit" him full-time.
Sorry to be passive-aggressive about this by blogging it. can't unring that bell. I rationalised posting at the time because the original discussion was public anyway and you were standing by the choice of words despite my objections.
it's a mistake to equate continuing the discussion with "standing by the choice of words". in fact, i'm pretty sure that becky explicitly said that if it had been her, she would not have chosen the word "babysitting" to describe what dion was doing. in any case, whatever people's connotations of the word "babysitting", it seemed pretty clear to me that, based on the context of the conversation and who was making the comment, that the total meaning behind the babysitting statement was that dion was at home with adam; no more, no less.
I think I missed this conversation at practice the other night... I either wasn't paying attention or wasn't there yet. So I might be wading into a mine field here as I can only glean a bit from the context.
I don't know if I would use the term babysitting or not... I think I might if I were out somewhere that I might expect to see both Karen and Dion, and only one was there, I might, in a jocular manner, suggest that the other was "babysitting" tonight (regardless of which one was there... in fact I might do that next time I see one of you!)
I don't think I would refer to anyone as a part-time or full-time babysitter (especially not a teacher... my advice, don't refer to them as babysitters).
Rob, yes, I agree that the total meaning of Mike's statement was that Dion was home with Adam. It was Rebecca's statement that stung. I never felt slighted until when I was checking the gist of Rebecca's take on the meaning of babysitting by asking whether I was a full-time babysitter, she said that I was. And given the negative feelings that at times Rebecca has expressed about motherhood, it seemed possible to me that "full-time babysitting" could indeed be representative of part of how she feels about my current vocation.
10 comments:
I prefer to use the term "caring for" or "taking care of" just because "babysitting" sounds a little odd for mom and dad to use, very temporary.
And really, who wants their child to be sat on anyway? :)
Ha! I like Jesse's answer. I hope I didn't strike a nerve when I brought this up last night Karen. It's just always struck me as especially odd that folks would say "Dion is at home parenting tonight". As near as I can tell, to some extent or another, forever onward, Dion is parenting whether Adam is with him or not (you were parenting last night but letting him and dad have some time alone while setting the example that moms can go out and play some kick butt ultimate). I feel like babysitting is not a 'job title' but a task. Somebody needs to stay home and watch the kiddies. Just like, somebody needs to do the laundry, cook the meals, and earn a living. Since all of these tasks are shared among couples in the modern age, I think the connotation is changing, so that the word doesn't have to.
Does that make sense?
P.S. - I would also use words like Jesse use, myself. I just don't think I'd object to someone else calling it 'babysitting'.
Rebecca, you did strike a nerve. I definitely feel insulted to be called a full-time babysitter. Just as I would be unsurprised to find you insulted if I called you my "acquaintance". Of course, we are "acquainted". And I do "sit with the baby". But it is insulting to my relationship with you that I say that we are acquainted. It is insulting to my relationship with Adam that you say I "babysit" him full-time.
Sorry to be passive-aggressive about this by blogging it. can't unring that bell. I rationalised posting at the time because the original discussion was public anyway and you were standing by the choice of words despite my objections.
hey karen,
it's a mistake to equate continuing the discussion with "standing by the choice of words". in fact, i'm pretty sure that becky explicitly said that if it had been her, she would not have chosen the word "babysitting" to describe what dion was doing. in any case, whatever people's connotations of the word "babysitting", it seemed pretty clear to me that, based on the context of the conversation and who was making the comment, that the total meaning behind the babysitting statement was that dion was at home with adam; no more, no less.
Karen,
You are making a great point, I think you should fight it out on Springer. Whooo hooo - take it off!!!
Mary Woolstencraft
I think I missed this conversation at practice the other night... I either wasn't paying attention or wasn't there yet. So I might be wading into a mine field here as I can only glean a bit from the context.
I don't know if I would use the term babysitting or not... I think I might if I were out somewhere that I might expect to see both Karen and Dion, and only one was there, I might, in a jocular manner, suggest that the other was "babysitting" tonight (regardless of which one was there... in fact I might do that next time I see one of you!)
I don't think I would refer to anyone as a part-time or full-time babysitter (especially not a teacher... my advice, don't refer to them as babysitters).
Rob, yes, I agree that the total meaning of Mike's statement was that Dion was home with Adam. It was Rebecca's statement that stung. I never felt slighted until when I was checking the gist of Rebecca's take on the meaning of babysitting by asking whether I was a full-time babysitter, she said that I was. And given the negative feelings that at times Rebecca has expressed about motherhood, it seemed possible to me that "full-time babysitting" could indeed be representative of part of how she feels about my current vocation.
Disclaimer or no, I thought she meant it or at least kinda meant it.
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oooo, how intriguing! I don't actually know if it is intriguing or not... I didn't see it before it was deleted... could just be a spammer.
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